Meditation has taken a turn for the darker. This week, very good friends of mine suffered the loss of their unborn child. They were five months into the pregnancy and had to give still birth. This was extremely upsetting for me and I can't even imagine what they must be going through. It also has me contemplating life and death. How can one be born dead? There has been a lot of death surrounding me lately. I've attended two funerals in the last month as well. I should be thinking about life as spring is forcing it's way through the ground right now. But my thoughts are trapped in the land of the dead.
During my meditations I have been joined by a centaur. I believe he represents strength and has been a wonderful shoulder to lean on during these tough times. I've also found myself drawn to floating in the water of my beach and staring at the stars, planets and moons. I find the warm water enveloping my body to be comforting.
I want to feel better. I want to believe that death is not something to hate and be saddened by. I want to believe that She Who Loves Us Beyond All Reason takes those people we love for a reason. I want to believe that I chose this path in life and that everything bad that happens to me, I've already agreed to for this life. But I'm still sad.
On a positive note, meditating when having a specific thing to contemplate, is easier. And working through these issues during meditation is actually helping me make sense if them in waking life.
1 comment:
Hugs! I'm so sorry for your friends. It's not something that I would ever wish on someone, even if I hated them. Losing a life, whether old and grey, or young and growing, is always hard, but when you're so looking forward to the birth of your child, this life that's been growing inside you for 5 months, and then to have to give up that light and those dreams because you lost them. That's unspeakably difficult and painful.
I'm thinking of them and surrounding them with healing white light, and asking the Goddess to hold them close as they need her comfort in this time of great pain and loss.
Congrats on the steps in meditation though! That's the silver lining here.
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